contented.

"and you're pushing all this back to my face"

this post will be full of thankyou-s and sorry-s.

first of all, i want to thank God.

i feel you inside. im thankful of everything.

thanks for everything youve given to me that opens my eyes to see how beautiful life is.

sorry i neglected You, sorry ive been so useless.

i know that, by the end of the day, i will have it all back to you.

i know you listen to every of my moaning, whining, crying and pleading.

thank youuuuuuuuuuu so much.

thank you for having mercy on me, on my little pathetic heart.

i love You.

i need You.

and thanks mama. thanks papa. thanks sisters.

i love my family byk byk bykkkk.

more than i love math and most importantly,
i love my family more than i love myself.

i mean it.

thanks for thinking of me 24/7 non-stop, i can feel it.

thanks for being worried and caring.

one thing i was afraid of when i made the huge decision of my life;

losing them.

living here without my family by my side is very very veeerrryy hard, trust me.

for you guys who have your family by your side now,

please, dont take things for granted.

enjoy those little things, because in future, when you look back

they will be the biggest things.

:)

thank you so much and im sorry for aways making you worried.

i love you parents.

i love my sisters; epin, ayi and regina.

i miss you.

i want to thank tia and iven.

we are thousands miles apart but it doesnt matter for you.

for me.

i cant believe the ones who are always there for me are those who are thousands miles away.

you two are wonderfully wonderful.

its amazing how you guys remember me.

its amazing how you guys reach me and listen to me.

its amazing that i have you two.

sorry if im so forgetful about you guys.

i didnt bother to even say hello to you guys, i hate myself for doing that.

now i know how important you guys for me.

i love you.

i miss you.

i want to thank fahmi, noora, iskandar and mifhdal.

thank you thank you thank you for making me feel accompanied.

your presence wakes me up, i know im not alone.

i used to think that i had no one.

no one to understand my feeling.

until i know you.

thank you so much for the patience, especially iskandar.

im sorry if i always hurt you guys, i always make you guys tired of listening to every problem i have. sorry i only can complain.

i love you guys.

these people who make it real for me.

ive been spending my prepaid on texting my babies in indonesia.

since i can only send global messages.

that was why i used prepaid in the first place.

and that explains why i dont share things so much with my friends here.

in case you havent noticed, i dont get a big fuss of you talking behind my back or doing whatever i prefer you not to do.

i dont get hurt, i have to be strong.

i AM strong.

:)

thank you everyone and sorry thousands sorry.

life is worth it.

i live my life the way i want it to be.

p.s i need a new bag, desperately.