little silly things that make you smile.

its been long since i last blogged a proper entry.
i always post unnecessary things.
its my habit. i talk and think about unnecessary things.
which makes me become a fickle minded person because i think too much and too far.
and thats why i suck at exams because i write unnecessary things, too.
i tend to write down whatever im thinking.
i mean, duh.
-.-

so today is saturday.
i woke up late to find my head already spinning.
i took another hour to muster all my strength to get up.
checked phone, a lot of messages and missed calls.
one of the messages was from mdm rohani.
early in the morning to conduct this... idk what you call it.
all i know is i had to forward the message she sent to me to everyone in my group.
and my prepaid is at its crucial time.
it hurt me badly and deeply (wtf -.-) to pass the message to four people.
ironically, no one replied me.
so i had to re-forward the message and add "please reply me if youve received this message".
and ironically still, only one replied me.
i was an ass this morning so i told mdm rohani that i couldnt reach hannah and the rest was okay.
sometimes i really wonder why in this world did mdm rohani like to choose me as a leader.
oh i know why, she said once that i was fierce.
i am. beware.

then i went outside to have my breakfast after sending fahmi my apology about last night.
i watched this movie about a dog playing soccer, typical story but who cares.
feeling unwell still, i took a bath.
i thought i would faint inside the bathroom or smth but i didnt.
the smell of my body scrub made me smile throughout the not-less-than-30-mins bath.
it felt so good.

had my lunch which was.. heavenly?
all food is heavenly for me, fyi.
went back to my room.
remember that i do everything in my room?
:)

then i opened my science book but my headache was torturing.
i went online to talk to noora.
we kinda had a good conversation about what happened yesterday to bikini.
hehehe.
oh, i also watched americas next top model from youtube.
the models bodies were like, aww.
idk why i said aww.

but i love myself as it is.
i really do.
i watched this video about the americas top model cycle 10 winner, whitney.
she isnt as skinny as the rest, she doesnt have that body figure.
even the judges said so.
but she has this beauty inside which had brought her all the way to finale and what shes become now.
and shes the americas next top model with who she is.
without having to starve herself, without having to undergo plastic surgery.
inspiring or what.
:)

then i went offline and got myself crackers from kitchen.
the crackers make me miss indonesia even more.
sad.
there was a hand of banana caught my eyes so i ate one.

i tried to revise for science but my brain, cooperating with my head, couldnt take it.
so i decided to take a nap.
which ended up being a sleep instead of a nap.
i woke up at 19:22.
was it still a nap?
actually i still think it was a nap.
idk. ):

checked my phone and smiled after reading every message i received while sleeping.
i didnt reply though.

listened to "everytime" by britney spears.
that song gives me the 'feeling'.
i remember listening to britney spears songs everyday during my pri school days because epin bought it and that was it.
if she buys a tape, she makes sure that everyone has to listen to it in car. everyday.
my younger sisters really find it a bliss for having her not around in the car because theyre free to listen to their songs.
gita gutawas songs. her songs are kinda good but too childish.
she has this 'woah' voice which my sisters always try to imitate.
she failed, of course.
and i felt the same way too because i was free to listen to my avril lavigne songs.
eventhough i had zero english, i just listened to it and sang along following the vowels.
hahaha.

k, where was i?
oh, britney spears.
theres this time when i watched the 'baby one more time' and 'oops i did it again' mv before i went to my girl scout class in my pri sch. i was pri 3 or 4 by then.
idk why i remember it vividly.
there are just some moments that i can see clearly in my mind.

like the time when i went to disneyland and i laughed over my sister being lost while queueing enthusiastically for a photograph with donald duck.
no, actually i remember every single thing i saw at disneyland.
how do you expect me to forget the day at disneyland?!
haha.
i love everything about disney.
theres a mickey or donald duck or pooh stuff in every of my childhood photograph.
:)

then i remember the time when my sister (the one who got lost at disneyland) and i got lost at my aunties apartment at queensway area.
i was in spore for holiday as i hadnt moved yet.
that sister is the one who gave me this box of letters and birthday card and phone chain and a blue pen on my birthday this year.
she passed the box through epin.
and those things actually made me almost tear.
shes the closest to me among my sisters.
we eat fattening food together (simply because my two other sisters are skinny bitches. haha. kidding!) we get lost together we get scolding together we laugh like nobodys business together we love math together we share clothes together and we are fat, together too.
:D

ok, back to my day.
after listening to the song, i weighed myself.
in case you havent known, i weigh myself thrice a day now.
hahaha. i know im obssessed.
but im not, its just a habit.
and ive lost one kg due to diarrhoea.
idk if its supposed to be good or bad.
haha.

then i had my dinner at 8.
i ate a bowl of corn and mushroom soup.
with the same crackers.
i was bloody bloated. o.O
then i sat down for awhile before taking bath.
i walked to kitchen again, taking a banana and sat down again.
i still hadnt had the feeling to bath so i went to my room, sat down on my bed, staring at my window.
i kept on thinking and thinking that i decided to bathe because if i carried on thinking, i would cry alone in my bedroom.
oh, there was no one at home when i woke up.
went to bathroom and stared at my reflection.
as usual i smiled at myself then bathed.
they say smiling is the cheapest way to beautify yourself.
:)

i love smiling.

then someone came home while i was bathing and it was my guardians relative who came over from indo to stay in spore.
she has to go to her appointment. chemotherapy or whatever you call it.

then i sat with her in dining room, keeping her accompanied while she was eating.
looking at someone eating gives me the joy.
hahahaha.

and i thought about a lot of people.
about this girl who used to be my partner in pri 6 class.
she was kinda spooky, for me.
the whole class called her 'orgil' which is the short form of 'orang gila'.
'orang gila' means crazy person.
i was in a girls school and life in girls school was a pure beatitude.
it was a state of bliss you think youre dreaming.
i think she was used to people calling her orgil.
we used to be close. we lived at the same area of house estate.
i went to her house until late quite often to play around.
it was before she went demented.
we argued and we carved this line using needle to separate my territory from hers.
because in indo, we often have this wide table for two people sitting together in school.
we had our own style to cover our answers in exams from our partner.
dont want to elaborate or else this entry is gonna be real unnecessary. hoho.

back to her, she sometimes walked and mumbled to herself.
she had this weird hairstyle like olive in the popeye cartoon.
no, i forget how she looked like.
there was this time when my classmates and i played this game in front of our classroom, she suddenly went in to class from canteen, moved her hand and make a gesture as though she was holding a violin in her hand and playing it gently, wholeheartedly.
and my classmates and i went o.O.
hahaha.

but we went to different secondary schools.
i went to an international school before i moved to singapore and she went to this half-government school.
when i was alr here, she added me in my friendster and we talked.
it felt weird but i guess shes become sane.
:D

then there was this girl from my pri school still who was a crazy fan of this 'inuyasha' character.
i think thats what the character is. haha.
then she believed that inuyasha was living with her.
she would open her hand and talk to the air above her hand.
we thought she was talking to the air but she insisted that she was talking to the 'inuyasha' spirit. -.-
freako.

and i think how my parents pamper me alot and when they dont give me what i want, i will feel so demoralised.
but im growing up.
hoho.

these thoughts make me miss everything i used to have even more.
its 21:40 and im supposed to be revising but im not.
its okay cause im feeling good now.
i talk alot.
:)

by the way, 'jangan tegur' movie has left me this eeriness whenever im alone.